Coloumn for Hyderabad Times 10th Anniversary!

This is an article I wrote for the Hyderabad Times 10th Anniversary issue. They asked me to write something related to music with the sense of humor I'm alleged to have. Written with valueable inputs from my buddy, Rajesh Narasimhan (@rajeshmacha).

It was published in the Times of India (Hyderabad Times) on 25th September 2010.

O-M-G!!

I finally discovered what Lord Ganesha likes best about Hyderabad. The one single reason why he makes it a point to descend from the heavens every year, stick around for a few days, enjoy the love, the food and then brave the murky waters as he returns home up there!

Lord Ganesha loves the jukebox festival that happens every year in our city. As he sits or stands or dons those numerous poses on that sacred pedestal, all through the day, he catches up on the latest hits from across the world.

Believe it or not! I’ve passed Ganesh pandals playing Justin Bieber’s Baby Baby! Outrageous as it sounds, it is true. Lord Ganesha sure doesn’t carry around an iPod but his playlist is better updated than most radio stations.

In case, any sculptor is reading this, Lord Ganesha with an iPod, laptop and a PSP sounds like a cool design for next year. After all, he is the eternal Indian Idol.

One look at the 16-year old blonde “baby” or ET’s first cousin, Lady Gaga, we know music has come a long, wicked way since U2, Pink Floyd, 4 Non-Blondes or even the Back-in-the-street Boys.

Currently, neither world peace nor the search for alien life or new fuel alternatives is of paramount importance. The brains at Pentagon, Scotland Yard and even the world’s greatest research labs (no, I don’t mean the mountains of Afghanistan) are all worried about Bieber’s voice cracking. What will happen? What calamity will befall the world? Will he end up sounding like a beaver? Or will he also resort to lip syncing? (Oh, but he already did that at the MTV VMAs right?) Anyway, he trends more than anyone or anything, dead or alive or unfunny on Twitter.

So, there isn’t much I can say about him, except that he joins an elite group of the most famous blonde celebs in history that includes Marilyn Monroe and Pamela Anderson… both known for their huge… uhh fan following.

Of course, Hyderabad also has its huge list of celebs. You’ll find them online.

On Twitter are all the stars we love the most and least in our very own Tollywood. Be it, Rajamouli, Mahesh Babu, Siddharth, Jr.NTR, Genelia, Ileana down to the B/C/D lists and even the avoidable ones, our stars have found a whole new e-dimension to stardom, on the mobile phone.

140 characters have taken over our 70mm lives. Not to forget that there is more drama in the Twitterverse than we can find in a film these days.

The big question is... ‘How many minimum followers do you need to be a (self) proclaimed “celeb”?’ The only thing about numbers is that they are best when you can’t count them. And this holds true for both twitter and the box office.

Talking about box-office, a film that flops on the big screen, seems to become a hit on twitter screens. Everyone loves discussing a flop down to its gory details. Recently overheard a conversation between two deconstructionists “@hiddenname OMG, why did he do that film? I’m going to follow the director and tell him.” … and the usual #hashtags that follow.

There have been so many “OMGs & God bless” every second that I wonder if Lord Ganesha is already here on twitter.

How many minimum followers would Lord Ganesha require to be proclaimed God on twitter? How will twitter verify his identity? How many fake accounts will start in his name? I’m thinking of doing one myself – “@iamtherealganesh I’m back Hyderabad. God bless. Really! :)”

The best part about playing God?

You get to tweet just 11 days a year.

Everyone follows you.

Everyone RTs you.

OMG!!

Aamir Khan is God!

Please RT.

@AnujGurwara ..

(with inputs from Justin Bieber fan @rajeshmacha)