Sunday, April 26, 2015

Love at first bite.

I can't remember the last time I was so overwhelmed by something I ate, I had to put up a post about it. Guess there's a first time for everything!

This isn't a Michelin-starred culinary experience. It isn't even a Maa-ke-haathon-se-bana home-made delight. Au contraire, it's something warmly unassuming.

I claim to be a foodie of sorts. Love tasting food from all over, esp outside India. No hang ups about anything, except for the fact that I'm still mustering up courage to eat insects, century eggs, animal genitalia and reptiles!

My first trip to Macau, I must confess, hasn't been very impressive. It was just a tick off the list. I'm more of a nature-history-architecture-loving traveller. I don't gamble either. So the casinos are merely a visual splendour to me. Ornately decorated money-sucking establishments that provide hope and escape bundled together at the push of a button or the flick of a playing card.

Casinos don't even come close to the generous dose of uncertainty my chosen career in Entertainment showers me with each day. I'm gambling enough in real life as it is, with a better win-rate.

But I did hope to bungee jump off the Macau Tower. Unfortunately bad weather and an incessant drizzle reduced my adventurous expectations to naught. I had planned out just one night and two days in Macau before heading to Hong Kong. So I walked in and out of casino lobbies on the first day, staring at the very Vegas-esque grandeur that Macau has quite remarkably managed to ape. Thus ended my day last night. Dry.. figuratively speaking of course!

Apart from noodle-bars and Chinese soup kitchens, almost everyone I had spoken with, about Macau, mentioned tasting the egg tart, a Portuguese delicacy, available here.

Google reviews about Macau's food scene directed me to blogs describing a tiny little bakery called Margaret's Cafe (Cafe รจ Nata) in the back alleys in the vicinity of The Grand Lisboa. A place so popular, you apparently encounter long queues just to get your hands on their famous, yet humble little tart.

Google also mentions Lord Stow's Bakery, that claims to be the creator of this egg tart. However my hotel was closer to Margaret's Cafe. 

So, post breakfast, armed with Google Maps, I strolled along Macau's back alleys, littered with delightful Portuguese buildings, smiling right back at you with their colonial windows, striped awnings and rain-washed pastel-coloured walls.

No sign boards. No advertisements. But this is the kind of place everyone knows about. Ask and you shall be directed to Margaret's egg tarts.

I'm not surprised. Just about every major city in the world has small yet world-famous eateries like these. Hidden in plain sight, swarming with crowds waiting with bated breath, parched lips, eager taste-buds and open wallets to savour the delights beyond their humble doors.

Couple of rights and lefts later, I arrive at a quiet little lane, just off a commercial street, that allegedly leads to Margaret's Cafe. And that's when you see the crowd. 10am on a rainy morning. I can't even imagine what this queue would look like in good weather, on a peak touristy day. Phew!

The bakery is a really tiny one with a few benches and stools placed under a small awning. That's about it. There's nothing else to it. There aren't any glass walls too, showcasing their goods. I take my place behind 20 other people and patiently move towards the counter.

A few eager minutes later, I walk out with two pieces of warm egg tart (HK$ 10 each). I knew I would want to taste a second piece and wouldn't get another chance this morning.

It looked like nothing, really. A warm round puff pastry with some egg inside. Browned on top in the oven. I've grown up on India's oval egg puffs. Crisp puff with a hard-boiled half-egg within. What could be different?

That's when I bit into it.

The world around me, shut down for a few seconds.

The taste exploded in my mouth, as a shy tear welled up in my eye, ready to roll out as the flavours and textures of this piece of heaven stormed right through my taste buds, confusing the hell out of my brain.

Crisp golden pastry, perfectly crunchy and in the heart of it, a deliciously warm-salty-sweet-creamy-half-scrambled egg, baked to perfection that just dissolved right there on my tongue.
 
I stared back at this egg tart I had just taken a bite out of, not knowing whether to bite in further or just sit there and marvel at this divine creation. 

Slowly, I bit in again, savouring every moment it made contact with my palate, until it became a part of me. It brought in happy memories from a far-off place, took me to a beautiful space that I'm still in, three hours later.

I've left for Hong Kong. Nothing else could be allowed to dilute this experience. This high. Was it the rain outside that enhanced the warmth of this tart? Was it an otherwise not-so-exciting experience in Macau? I will never know. All I know is that this is something I tasted and it made me write this excruciatingly long essay. All over an egg tart. 

Oh Margaret!


Tuesday, September 25, 2012

It's a steal..! (Original piece tho')

My article for the Hyderabad Times - Anniversary special issue! 

Published: 22 September 2012



Sunday, August 12, 2012

Goodbye 70mm!

I returned from Mumbai last week for a few days. Driving home to Secunderabad, I was on my usual route: Shamshabad-Masab Tank-Banjara Hills-Punjagutta-Begumpet-SP Road-Paradise...

I'm sure you know that familiar feeling of returning to your hometown. When everything falls back into place, the familiar sights and sounds (smells too these days!!), the roads, the landmarks, the office complexes, shopping malls. I'm also sure you know that unsettling feeling when there's something missing and you can't point it out until later. And then, the realisation dawns on you - "Oh!! That's not there anymore!!"

I travel quite a bit. Although I'm based in Mumbai now, I keep returning to Hyderabad once every week for shows or recordings or other work. I'm quite used to that pattern of the city as it emerges ahead when I'm driving. Last week, I felt something was missing on the way. My heart sunk when I realised they had demolished Anand Theater, a prominent landmark on SP Road.

ANAND THEATRE
It hurt to see another huge landmark of my growing up days, now lie in a pile of smashed concrete. I didn't event realise the expanse of the Anand Theater compound until I saw it without the building in between. Of course, the real estate value of such a prime piece of land would be astronomical. History books have always paved the way for accounting ledgers as the world moves on.

The visual took me back to another day of mourning, back in 2007 when they started demolishing Sangeet Theater! I was one of the mourners, at the gates, that very day. Lots of people from all over the city (mostly Secunderabad) had assembled there to bid a tearful farewell to Sangeet.

We all had one common bond. We were all movie-buffs. Cinema lovers of all ages who'd congregate every week, staring wide-eyed at the magic unfolding on that huge canvas stretched out at one end of a massive dark hall. We'd whistle, laugh, cry, scream and clap together as familiar Hollywood faces would walk onto the screen and juice out our emotions.

Sangeet primarily played English cinema. Those were the days of expensive videos cassettes (VCRs). No internet. No torrents. No access to cinema, except movie-halls. 

Sangeet Theater, with its impressive semi-circular facade attached to a tall vertical structure, was like a factory. 

SANGEET THEATRE
When I look back, I still can't figure out how the parking attendants managed to fit in hundreds of Cycles, Mopeds, Scooters, Bullets, Yamahas, Splendours, Suzuki Samurais, Fiats, Ambassadors and Maruti 800s!! If you relate to all these vehicles, you know what I'm talking about. 

In my college days, the rates were 5 rupees for a two-wheeler parking and 10 rupees for a car. And the rates weren't on a per-hour basis! Often we'd see cruise-ships float in... Contessa Classics, Premier Padminis and the occasional Mercedes. Sangeet was a weekly pilgrimage for all.

Somehow, everyone entered through that one double-gate and went out the same way, jammed to the teeth, but like clockwork. We'd park and rush to a tiny little grilled window. In a dim-lit tiny room behind that window, sat a man with three booklets. Stall (10rs), Upper Stall (20rs) and Balcony (30rs). 

Stall was a few rows right below the screen. Behind that was Upper Stall. A staircase leading to the first floor, making us feel elite, was the huge Balcony.

The ticket seller would take our cash, rip out cheap paper tickets (yellow/pink/blue/green), mark the seating chart on his table, write our seat numbers and give those little ticket slips to us. Couples would request the corner seats... families would ask for the top rows and college-groups would ask for the bottom row of the balcony, so we could stretch out our legs and rest them on the railing, just above the Upper Stall.

Couches and recliners?? Haha!!

And when that dreaded board - "Sold Out" would be seen hanging over a closed window, we'd scan the assembled crowd, trying to spot some people moving stealthily all over the place. The black-ticket walas!! We'd go up to them, negotiate a deal and buy a ticket for up to three times its price, more depending on demand!!

Often, the group would be scattered across the hall. But hey! "We got the tickets, didn't we?!! Let's meet in the interval ok?" 

Tickets in hand... we'd head to grab some Cola, Gold-Spot or Chai. Couples would disappear into a little bakery in the compound, whispering sweet-nothings over cola and egg-puffs. Smokers would head to the essential pan-dabba, by the wall, inside the gate, where they'd quickly puff up a Wills Navy Cut, Gold-Flake or Charminar.

Five times a day the bell would ring, starting at 9:00am. Showtimes usually 9am, 12noon, 3pm, 6pm and 9pm, depending on the movie played. Like disciplined factory workers, we'd queue up and enter the hallowed chambers, ready to be entertained!

Interval...!!

Menu:

Chai / Coffee
Cola / Gold Spot
Limca / Citra

Chips Packet
Popcorn
Veg Sandwich
Veg Puff / Egg Puff
Alu Samosa / Chhota Samosa
Mirchi Bhajji

Ice Cream (Chocobar, Mango Duet, Vanilla/ Strawberry Cup)

They'd quickly wrap the eats in square-cut pieces of newspaper, hand us the drinks ... and balancing 17 items between two hands, two elbows and 32 teeth, we'd make our way back to the seat. (God help you if your girlfriend wanted something else after the acrobatics). The bell would ring again, signalling the second half. Rush Rush Rush!!!!

Chomping and sipping away through the second half of the film, we'd go through the run of emotions again! The lovebirds holding hands tight over a narrow wooden armrest when Tom Cruise said "You Complete Me" in Jerry Maguire, groups of guys whistling away at Sharon Stone uncrossing her legs in Basic Instinct, and families bonding together over the Sound of Music. Those were the days!!

Sangeet Theater was demolished in 2008.

Razed to the ground. Taking with it, memories of so many lives intertwined with every reel that ever ran through its projectors.

 Sangeet was witness to first dates, bunked college days, awkward couples on their first movie outing after an arranged marriage, boys hoping to some day date the girl smiling a few seats away, women checking out charming army officers on their day off, kids ecstatic at finally being able to watch The Lion King, middle-aged couples spending a quiet evening with each other at a romantic film... ... ... 

These weren't mere movie-halls. They were the foundations of the cinema lover I am.. along with thousands of other people. They were our classrooms, our textbooks and our exam centres. We'd celebrate cinema there every Friday... and almost every other day of the week.

The story above repeated itself every single day, for decades, across single-screen theaters around the country. Each one has its own story, it's own chunk of history, in its own language!

Anand Theater was Sangeet's Hindi-speaking cousin in Secunderabad. It did play a lot of English as well, but my most memorable film there was Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge. I'd watched it almost 25 times there... often carrying a mandolin with me, just to show off!!

Two landmarks of Secunderabad that I grew up around, have now vanished, along with so many others around the city... dismissed to being chapters on websites reminiscing the days that were.

 Hyderabad had Skyline and Sterling, now converted to residential complexes, the grand old Maheshwari-Parmeshwari theaters (now Big Bazaar), Nataraj (now a furniture store). Some still celebrate glorious openings of regional cinema. Other single-screens are being converted to multiplexes.

But that era is fading away. That glorious age when stars became superstars based on single-screen success!

Today's stardom is like today's fast food... quickly prepared, tastes amazing at the first bite, but isn't the real deal (or meal..!).


Somehow, that samosa doesn't taste the same in a Multiplex!

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

24 HOURS OF A MAHINDRA EXPERIENCE


I still remember the first Mahindra XUV 500 I saw on the road. It was a couple of months ago, in April. Driving home from work, I spotted a shining silver beast of a car. It looked amazingly solid, yet had a class about it. I am not much into cars, but something about this vehicle said it was a brand new make, and it was gorgeous.

I took a detour from the signal, turning in the direction of the XUV, rather than home. I was drawn to it. After a short distance, I approached close enough to spot the Mahindra logo on it. I was blown away by the fact that neither was this an “imported” vehicle nor was it one of the premium elite brands I was expecting it to be. This was made in India.

I reached home, googled and found out that the magnificent beast I saw on the road, was an XUV 500, Mahindra’s latest vehicle. Each time, ever since, I have spotted one on the road, I have been continuously amazed. Patriotism apart, this is a fantastic looking car. An SUV that exudes class, yet, is affordable for someone who’d love to own an SUV, but didn’t know where to look below the super-expensive elite brands.


11 June 2012 
5:30-6:00 pm:

After finishing the day’s work, I finally stopped outside the Mahindra showroom in Punjagutta, Hyderabad. I had to check the XUV out. I wanted a test drive, know more about it, and see for myself, what had amazed so many people who’s posts/articles about it I had read online. The XUV has been selling like hotcakes, and I wanted to know if I could own one as well.

With all that excitement, I walked into the showroom, eyeing a shining silver XUV standing right beyond the glass doors.

Normally, when I enter any random automobile store, I am wary of over-zealous sales execs, who hound you endlessly, almost politely bullying you into buying a set of wheels. I am scared to give out my number to them, for I know I will be stalked every single day for the next couple of months, being coaxed to buy the car. Even when I decline on the phone, I know I will be sent sales offers cheaply disguised as festive greetings.

I refuse to give my number, stating instead that I will get back once I have decided.

Yesterday’s experience was a bit different. This was a car I was genuinely excited about. I stepped into the showroom, spent 25 minutes exploring the XUV, but there was nobody who came up with even a greeting, forget about a sales pitch.

I had questions about the car, as I sat in the driver’s seat and admired that beautifully equipped dashboard. The seats, the leg space, the numerous features that this car was packed with, was a fantastic sight. Alas, I couldn’t discover a lot as there wasn’t anyone around who I could call and ask.

There were two other customers who were just looking around as well. I did spot one exec at the reception counter, chatting away on the phone. And by the looks of it, it wasn’t a business call. This is one of those moments when I refuse to actually call out to someone, and instead wait for the hopeless situation to resolve itself.

It didn’t.

I was done helping myself to the car I’d admired for so long. I walked over, checked out the Mahindra Thar, another fantastic off-roader (still nobody; phone still busy) and left. While exiting, I spotted our caller, who apparently was done with his conversation and standing at the main door. I said “main itni der se showroom mein hoon, aur ek banda help karne nahin aaya”.

He smiled. Said nothing. 

I left. Disappointed.


11 June 2012 
9:05pm

I am very active on social media. Reached home and tweeted about it.


Now, I saw this as a small incident. Nevertheless I wanted to bring it to their attention. I decided against putting this up as a general tweet, and instead addressed it to the XUV team (@MahindraXUV500) directly, and mentioning Mr.Anand Mahindra (@AnandMahindra) as well. I hadn’t been following both profiles yet.

About an hour later, a friend’s message arrived saying, “hey, Anand Mahindra has RT’d you. What happened?”

Surprised, I checked and found this:


Wow! - the first word that came to my mind. This was now official.

Following his tweet was a string of messages where twitter users unknown to me were either admiring his prompt response, or mentioning their good/bad experience at showrooms in other cities.

This was fantastic. Mr.Anand Mahindra had taken note and mentioned one of his employees (possibly at the same showroom) in the tweet (which now seemed like a memo!).

Anyway, I responded...

A short while later, Mr.Joydeep (@joydeep71) sent me a tweet.



I’m sure the error in spelling my name was unintentional. He must have typed this in a hurry. I responded.


12 June 2012 
9:38am

The next morning, I had another tweet from Joydeep. 


I was in a studio all day. Thought I’d respond to him later. Got another tweet in an hour. This time from Vishal Sharma (@sharmavishal28).


This was getting even more impressive. I hadn’t seen such prompt response from a corporation. Ever.

While Joydeep had been interacting with customers on twitter, Vishal had just opened a twitter account, obviously in response to this.

Again, I was busy, so I decided to respond to Vishal later.

I got a call from Rakesh, a sales exec with the same showroom. Rakesh had been with a different auto showroom earlier. I had bought my present car from there. He had my number.

Apparently, a report of my tweet had been sent to the showroom by morning, it had been discussed with the entire team that a customer had arrived and returned without any service. Neither had any log been taken of a customer visiting the showroom.

When the name was mentioned, Rakesh immediately recognised it and called me. Again, I said, I’ll call him later once I’m done with my work.

A short while later, Vishal called. He had taken my number from Rakesh. Amazed as I was by the response, I told him I’d speak to him when I’d get free and that Rakesh had already called me.

Anyway, this had turned into something very unexpected. As I mentioned, I had never experience such prompt customer service.


12 June 2012 
3:27pm

I called Rakesh when I got free and he mentioned that both my tweets to Mr.Anand Mahindra had been taken very seriously with the team, the senior managers were at the showroom enquiring about the incident and were trying to reach me. He requested me to come to the showroom.

Intrigued, I said I’d be there shortly.


12 June 2012 
4:00pm

I reached and met Rakesh. He introduced me to Vishal Sharma (Area Sales Manager), who in turn, got me to speak to Joydeep (AP Head). Genuine apologies were of course expressed. I was assured that customer feedback was taken very seriously at Mahindra, like I needed any further evidence of this. I was already quite bowled over with the chain of events that had taken place so far.

I was given the customary tour of the vehicle, all my questions answered, and then the fantastic test drive.

I’ve fallen in love with the Mahindra XUV 500 after that drive. More apologies tendered. More warm smiles exchanged.

I left the showroom. 


Very Happy.


Learnings (24 hours later):

I have these random bursts of writing (I don’t write often). But Mr.Mahindra’s initiative has led me to write my thoughts down.

Apart from what happened at Mahindra and what they will do to prevent something like this from happening again... I have learnt a lot from this experience.


1. Lead from the Front:

From the moment Mr.Mahindra acknowledged my tweet, things had been set in motion. I hadn’t even expressed my desire to buy the vehicle. It was a just a random experience that went bad and I mentioned it online.

The fact that he took note of it and got his team to take necessary action, speaks miles about his leadership and the value he gives to someone who merely interacts with the brand that he and his team have created and maintained.

Mahindra prides itself on being an Indian manufacturer. And rightly so. The vehicles, products, machines, services they have developed have been trendsetters in the often- frowned upon Indian industry.

It takes a lot of effort to maintain integrity, not just in products, but throughout the company. As the general public, we have respected Mahindra for the ideals they have set for themselves, which help them deliver consistent quality.

Integrity is handed top-down. Just as a parent sets a way of life for the child, a superior sets a work-approach for a junior. Just as the way, a child observes and imbibes what adults do, a junior in an organisation does exactly that when he observes superior officers behave in a certain way. It becomes a sub-conscious habit.

Mr.Mahindra ensured that his sense of responsibility towards the company was understood by his team, who in turn, ensured that they applied it in their respective areas.

A leader who can show the courage and initiative to stand up for what he believes in, will inspire the workforce to be fearless as well, no matter how big or small the situation.


2. Take the initiative towards a solution. Don’t just sit and discuss the problem.

Rakesh, a sales exec, in the showroom, could have sat back and said, “I don’t know what’s going on. I wasn’t even there”. This habit of passing the buck is seen across the board, regardless of the industry.

Instead, he showed presence of mind when he heard the customer’s name. I am a playback singer in Hyderabad and do enjoy a little reputation. However, that was not his concern. He identified a name from his past workplace (I had bought a car from him), called his ex-colleague, managed to get my number, called me and requested me to come to the showroom.

Once at the showroom, he didn’t seem like he was over-doing his job to please a disgruntled customer. He took charge, apologised, introduced me to his superiors, took to explaining about the product and took me on a test-drive. I appreciate the genuine effort he put in towards rectifying a situation that had gone wrong.

Joydeep wrote to me immediately and followed up the next morning with his mobile number. He got his team to check on the situation as well. Vishal Sharma did not ignore a situation that occurred on twitter, where he had no account. He instead registered an account in order to get in touch with a customer.


3. Numbers don’t matter. People do.

I haven’t yet committed to Mahindra that I will buy the XUV. I’m still working out my finances.

I might enjoy a little popularity in my hometown, but Mr.Anand Mahindra didn’t even know I existed until I mentioned him in my tweet. He didn’t question if I had gone to buy the car. He cared for a customer who walked into the doors of his showroom. That was reason enough to respond.

That is what customers need. Care.

Longevity thrives on goodwill. Not just sales.

Selling and servicing should not be done, if it the resultant purpose is anything other than building a relationship with a stranger who has decided to put his hard-earned money on your product.

More important than his money, is his unshaken trust in you that will keep you alive.


4. Don’t do a job. Own the company.

The difference between someone doing a job, and someone taking ownership of the company is always evident. We never return to people who merely fill their day with work, in return for a monthly salary. We prefer dealing with people who show passion, commitment and dedication, regardless of whether they are earning something out if it or not.

Passion inspires passion.

A passionate salesman creates a passionate customer.

If you don’t believe in it, don’t do it. Don’t fool yourself into believing that your life is defined by the amount of money in your bank at the end of every month.

Walk into the workplace every single morning as if YOU own it and nobody else. Even if you are the guy who delivers tea to the customers while they wait for the sales executive. They should want to come back next week to drink another cup of tea, simply because they tasted the passion with which you made it.

I was taught in school, that when I wear the uniform, I am a representative of the school. How I behave, walk and talk, reflects on the school itself, and thereby, on every other student and teacher. It is a responsibility.

Companies have uniforms for their employees. The idea is not just to recognise them in a store, but to give them a sense of pride. Wearing the logo or the uniform of their organisation, makes each employee, a representative or an ambassador of the company. How you behave, reflects on the organisation itself, and thereby, on every other employee.


5. Social Media and Customer Care

I have read numerous cases about how the power of Twitter and Facebook elevated issues and got them solved. It just feels different when you experience it for yourself, and within 24 hours!

My issue might seem small compared to a lot of others. Nevertheless, it was social media that helped us (both me and the company) here.

It is one thing to have a PR team read and write tweets and posts on behalf of the company. It is another to have the head of a world-renowned organisation handle his social media himself.

We are aware and quite irritated with manual-driven customer care responses, be it airlines, credit cards, banks, television services and of course, mobile phone operators.

One of the most hypocritical statements these days is “I am sorry for the inconvenience caused”. We’ve all heard it so often. I once spoke to a customer care rep who kept repeating this statement. I responded saying how irritating it was hearing her speak like a robot, repeating the same sentence for everything. She said, “I’m sorry for the inconvenience caused sir.”

While companies develop new products using new technology, they forget to motivate their employees to embrace technology themselves. Employees must be on social media, taking at least an hour everyday to keep track of their markets and customers, not just their friends and relatives.

A customer’s social media profile can say a lot of about him, his lifestyle, his likes and dislikes, his tastes and preferences and so much more.

Much more than what is evident when he speaks to you directly. Learnings from those profiles will help you understand and reach out to him better, pleasantly surprise him and forge a stronger relationship.

Social media can do all that. Try it. Embrace it.





Apologies... if anything I have written above is out of line. These are of course personal opinions.

I am truly inspired by events in the last 24 hours. Hats off to Mr.Anand Mahindra’s leadership.

I thank Team Mahindra for all that they have done and wish them the very best for everything ahead.

Hoping to be an XUV 500 owner soon! :)

Life Or Something Like That...

Something I'd written immediately after I woke up early one morning in a train. I was travelling from Pune to Hyderabad on Train# 12701: Hussain Sagar Express.


15th May 2012.






In a train after long!! Pune-Hyderabad! Woke up to sunlit fields, villages and platforms zipping by... munching on idli-vada, sipping chai while listening to Pareshaan (Ishaqzaade) & Paani Da (Vicky Donor) on loop! Much-needed little break before I plunge head-on into work once I reach. 



Such sheer difference between the forced silence of air travel (often shattered by a wailing kid) and the whole-hearted conversations with strangers on trains, amidst screaming chaiwallahs, loud friend-groups, haldiram-munching businessmen and kids running from one end of the coach to another, smartly dodging the luggage jutting out from under the seats!


That arm rest between seats on a flight has witnessed more silent adjustments of elbow space, than actual conversations between two stranger co-flyers sitting next to each other.


The closed restrooms on an airline where we have the privacy to repair and redecorate the masks we wear VS the open basin on a train where we jostle for space between three other passengers trying to spit out their toothpaste.


I love both worlds!!


The simulated convenience of an airport and the in-your-face nakedness of the Indian train travel.


At Pune, I was looking out on the platform book store for Archie Comics and Tinkle, my standard purchases before every single train ride.


Didn't buy them this time.


The Macbook Pro and the iPad have replaced that need.


Guess what!!! I just broke out into a song.. danced in that narrow passage between the berths, like I did with my friends and cousins when we travelled together. Hung from that step ladder, arms stretched out in jubilant celebration, while doing all the Shammi Kapoor twists and turns.


Did it in my head this time.
Didn't stand up.
Nobody saw me do it... except me.


That entertainer in me was probably born on a train, on one of those wedding journeys. No speakers. No microphone. No sound check. Just raw emotion.


I want to rewind.


No time now. Station's here. Gotta get back to life. Or something like that.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Coloumn for Hyderabad Times 10th Anniversary!

This is an article I wrote for the Hyderabad Times 10th Anniversary issue. They asked me to write something related to music with the sense of humor I'm alleged to have. Written with valueable inputs from my buddy, Rajesh Narasimhan (@rajeshmacha).

It was published in the Times of India (Hyderabad Times) on 25th September 2010.

O-M-G!!

I finally discovered what Lord Ganesha likes best about Hyderabad. The one single reason why he makes it a point to descend from the heavens every year, stick around for a few days, enjoy the love, the food and then brave the murky waters as he returns home up there!

Lord Ganesha loves the jukebox festival that happens every year in our city. As he sits or stands or dons those numerous poses on that sacred pedestal, all through the day, he catches up on the latest hits from across the world.

Believe it or not! I’ve passed Ganesh pandals playing Justin Bieber’s Baby Baby! Outrageous as it sounds, it is true. Lord Ganesha sure doesn’t carry around an iPod but his playlist is better updated than most radio stations.

In case, any sculptor is reading this, Lord Ganesha with an iPod, laptop and a PSP sounds like a cool design for next year. After all, he is the eternal Indian Idol.

One look at the 16-year old blonde “baby” or ET’s first cousin, Lady Gaga, we know music has come a long, wicked way since U2, Pink Floyd, 4 Non-Blondes or even the Back-in-the-street Boys.

Currently, neither world peace nor the search for alien life or new fuel alternatives is of paramount importance. The brains at Pentagon, Scotland Yard and even the world’s greatest research labs (no, I don’t mean the mountains of Afghanistan) are all worried about Bieber’s voice cracking. What will happen? What calamity will befall the world? Will he end up sounding like a beaver? Or will he also resort to lip syncing? (Oh, but he already did that at the MTV VMAs right?) Anyway, he trends more than anyone or anything, dead or alive or unfunny on Twitter.

So, there isn’t much I can say about him, except that he joins an elite group of the most famous blonde celebs in history that includes Marilyn Monroe and Pamela Anderson… both known for their huge… uhh fan following.

Of course, Hyderabad also has its huge list of celebs. You’ll find them online.

On Twitter are all the stars we love the most and least in our very own Tollywood. Be it, Rajamouli, Mahesh Babu, Siddharth, Jr.NTR, Genelia, Ileana down to the B/C/D lists and even the avoidable ones, our stars have found a whole new e-dimension to stardom, on the mobile phone.

140 characters have taken over our 70mm lives. Not to forget that there is more drama in the Twitterverse than we can find in a film these days.

The big question is... ‘How many minimum followers do you need to be a (self) proclaimed “celeb”?’ The only thing about numbers is that they are best when you can’t count them. And this holds true for both twitter and the box office.

Talking about box-office, a film that flops on the big screen, seems to become a hit on twitter screens. Everyone loves discussing a flop down to its gory details. Recently overheard a conversation between two deconstructionists “@hiddenname OMG, why did he do that film? I’m going to follow the director and tell him.” … and the usual #hashtags that follow.

There have been so many “OMGs & God bless” every second that I wonder if Lord Ganesha is already here on twitter.

How many minimum followers would Lord Ganesha require to be proclaimed God on twitter? How will twitter verify his identity? How many fake accounts will start in his name? I’m thinking of doing one myself – “@iamtherealganesh I’m back Hyderabad. God bless. Really! :)”


The best part about playing God?

You get to tweet just 11 days a year.

Everyone follows you.

Everyone RTs you.

OMG!!

Aamir Khan is God!

Please RT.


@AnujGurwara ..

(with inputs from Justin Bieber fan @rajeshmacha)

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